Understanding How Narcissistic Personality Disorder Affects Relationship Health
Honest communication, respecting boundaries, an ability to be yourself, and trust. These are all known as green flags within a relationship.
Green flags are the positive signs, traits, and qualities that help to indicate a healthy and supportive partnership. Because there are positive and healthy traits, it's just as likely for there to be negative or unhealthy qualities.
These are known as relationship red flags. Red flags can include things like a lack of empathy or accountability, gaslighting, entitlement, and manipulation.
Let's learn more about these red flags as common signs of narcissistic personality disorder.
What Is Narcissism?
Contrary to popular belief, in some cases, narcissism can be considered normal. Focusing on yourself is a positive and healthy trait. Normal narcissism includes qualities that improve one's self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-worth. This means that a person is curious, genuinely interested in someone else's thoughts and opinions, and can handle receiving criticism.
When narcissism turns into a negative or unhealthy form, it's known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. This form of narcissism can include an extreme or excessive focus on a person's own personal wants and needs.
Signs of NPD
A narcissist can manipulate their partners through a cycle of idealizing and devaluing their partners. Due to the back-and-forth cycle of mistreatment and being admired, it can be difficult for people involved in narcissistic relationships to spot the signs and break free from them. Here's what to watch for.
Idealization
The start of a relationship is often known as the honeymoon phase. This is the phase where partners will show up as their best selves. Even narcissists can appear to be attentive and charming to draw a person in and create strong emotional bonds.
Devaluation
A narcissist will eventually show their true colors. They will take jabs at their partner by belittling, criticizing, or emotionally abusing them. The period between the idealization and devaluation cycle can be sudden. This sudden change can leave the victim wondering what they did to cause this change.
Manipulation
Narcissists will use control tactics like manipulation to maintain dominance over their partners. This manipulation can include gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and positive reinforcement when abiding by their rules. This type of reward and punishment scenario means that your narcissistic partner can have control over your decisions, identity, and your personal preferences.
Isolation
Isolation can be a common occurrence in narcissistic relationships. Narcissists will try to do everything they can to have you isolate or withdraw from loved ones. They'll attempt to weaken your social circle by making negative remarks about your friends and family or trying to create conflict. These attempts will cause you to feel like they're the only person who truly understands, cares, and supports you.
How NPD Affects Relationships
Narcissistic personality disorder can hurt relationships, even impacting a victim's emotional and mental well-being. These are some ways that narcissistic personality disorder can affect relationships:
Avoidance
Detachment
Hopelessness
Hypervigilance
Self-harm
Sleeping problems
Substance use and abuse
How to Cope
Learning how to cope with a partner who is a narcissist isn't easy, but it is possible. There are some strategies and techniques that you can incorporate.
Recognize the Signs
Educate yourself about the traits of a narcissist. Once you become more aware of the signs, you'll be able to pinpoint them the next time they're happening to you.
Set and Enforce Boundaries
It's extremely important in all relationships to set guidelines on what's acceptable and what's not. Make sure you're openly and honestly communicating with your partner about what you're okay with in terms of your emotional, material, personal, physical, spiritual, and sexual boundaries.
Seek Additional Support
Breaking free from the cycle of narcissistic abuse can be difficult. Despite how you're feeling, you don't have to do it alone. Help is there for you. Reach out today to learn more about couples or trauma therapy and how working with a mental health professional can help you show up for yourself in relationships.