Dating After Divorce: A Helpful Guide
Divorce is a journey that no one has on their relationship bucket list. It’s a complex process and one that comes with significant life changes.
Re-entering the dating world may feel like a hefty feat. After all, there’s new self-discovery, rebuilding confidence, forming meaningful connections, and assuring new boundaries are created and enforced.
Here, we explore some helpful tips you can use on your journey.
Assess Your Readiness
After finalizing your divorce, you may feel ready to begin dating. Before you take this step, it’s important to assess your readiness to return to the dating world.
Make sure you’ve taken the time to grieve your loss and process through any emotions that may be lingering. When you entered that relationship, you began a chapter of your life. Not only did you lose a partner, you lost a planned future.
Spend time reflecting on your past relationship and take away the lessons that were learned. If you’re not fully over the divorce, you don’t want to carry that into a new relationship with you.
Ease into the Dating Scene
When separating from your partner, you may find yourself missing the intimate moments. Humans crave physical touch and are social beings. It’s understandable to want to fill that void.
Unfortunately, being lonely is not the best reason to move into the dating scene. Rushing in too fast may lead to less than desirable outcomes. Everyone will have their own timeline for returning to dating, so you need to do what feels right and natural for your situation. If you have kids, you may be more cautious on their accounts.
Know Your Goal of Dating
Once you’ve established you’re ready to start dating again, it’s important that you understand what your goals are. Depending on your circumstances, you may not be looking for anything serious off the bat. Or you may want to find another long-term partner.
Knowing what your goal is will allow you to move in the right direction and communicate that clearly with any new suitors. Having goals will also help you establish boundaries and build a strong relationship in the beginning phases.
Be Honest
In today’s dating world, people are often inclined to present somewhat of a false reality. Whether it’s old pictures or fabricated personal information, it can be easy to paint a picture of what you think others want to see.
Your story has shaped you to be the person you are today. Any history or flaws do not define the quality of person you are. Embrace your narrative and figure out how to be comfortable portraying it.
When you love yourself as you are, you will not only feel more confident in your adventures but also open yourself up to being seen for who you truly are.
Remain Realistic
No matter what stage of life you’re in, when you’re going on dates, remember that most of them won’t end in a marriage. Many won’t go to a serious stage. As you start dating, if you’re not feeling the vibe with someone, it’s ok to end it there.
Especially after going through a divorce, there’s this subtle stigma that your options are now more limited. The opposite is true. This is your time to explore new things and find someone who aligns with your established goals.
If a relationship isn’t right for you, let it fade away and open a door for something that will suit you better.
Lean on Your Support System
This can be a scary, exciting, and nerve racking time. Talk with your support system about your interest in dating again. Discuss what your goals are so they can be helpful during the process when need be. Don’t be afraid to lean on them if the dating scene becomes stressful or you’re experiencing unexpected emotions.
If you’re divorced and want to get back out there, but have concerns, schedule an appointment for couples therapy today.