It's Time to Enforce Boundaries: 5 Signs to Watch For

Boundaries are a pretty simple concept, but one that doesn’t get talked about often enough. Most people struggle with realizing when they should set boundaries, how to set boundaries, and how to enforce them. 

If you find yourself struggling with boundaries, the following information can be helpful to you. Here are five signs to help recognize that it may be time to address your boundaries. 

1. You’re Frequently Tired

It’s a fact that you only have so much room on your plate and energy in your bank each day. This is a concept that many people try to push the limits of as much as they can. So often, people take on more than they can handle for themselves, let alone for others. 

If you find yourself drained at the end of the day consistently, it may mean you’re overextending yourself. When normal, routine tasks feel like they’re taking all of your energy, you may need to make some changes. 

This fatigue can also apply to a person. If you’re frequently overwhelmed from interactions with a specific person or social situations, it could be a sign that someone is overstepping your boundaries. It’s important that you know how to monitor your activity tolerance and stress levels. 

2. You’re Having Breakdowns

Emotions are part of the human experience. Some days will be better than others. If something triggering happens, you may experience a breakdown from time to time. 

An almost sure sign that you need to start enforcing some boundaries is when you’re having more frequent emotional breakdowns. Are normal days causing you to go through sharp mood swings or have crying spells often? Do you often feel like your world is closing in on you?

Eventually, your emotional breakdowns and mood swings will become too much to handle and your body will eventually force your hand. 

3. Small Things Don’t Bring Happiness

Have you noticed that things that generally bring you joy are no longer doing so? Are your routine coping mechanisms having a decreased effectiveness? Do you feel overwhelmed or anxious and are having difficulty finding ways to bring some relief? 

If you’re answering yes to any of these questions, you may need to start establishing better boundaries. You don’t want to end up in a place where you can’t calm your stress levels. It also complicates things when your happy activities start to cause negative emotions. 

4. You Have a Hard Time Saying "No"

If you are typically a “yes” person and find it hard to say no to things, you may want to take a step back and re-assess your situation. Saying yes to things that you don’t want to do or simply can’t handle isn’t always a good thing. 

Overextending yourself to try to help others is only going to leave you feeling drained. Repeated exposure to this behavior will make you dread the upcoming days, weeks, and months. 

If the same person or activity is the more frequent culprit, you may start to feel resentful and bitter. You don’t want to create physical and mental health issues, nor loose a relationship over not having boundaries. 

5. You Ignore Your Own Needs

One of the most important things to pay attention to is when you’re ignoring your own needs to put the needs of others first. Having your own interests, wants, needs, and desires is not selfish. It’s possible that you’ve been programmed to believe this, whether from parenting habits or from social/cultural norms. But for this purpose, you’re allowed to be “selfish.” 

When you prioritize other people above your needs, you can become resentful, overwhelmed, and burnt out. Identify your wants and needs and be able to communicate them. Be able to prioritize them whenever necessary.

Do you struggle to enforce your boundaries? Are you unsure how to establish proper boundaries? Reach out to us and let’s formulate a plan through couples therapy.